You judged me, in both your note to me and your plastering it up on your page, and in both you commented that I cannot judge because I do not know. I find it a tiny bit hypocritical, as your family has judged me from day one. I will take into account that you do not know the entire story (and I'm not being hateful; in all things, there are two sides), and so I won't be angry. It isn't worth my time or energy. All I've ever said about your family is that they've hurt us, and that they dislike me. I fail to see how it's wrong to point out the truth. And so you know - I'm actually being very kind by writing this myself. Matt was beyond angry when he read your note, and I've only barely managed to calm him down.

His "balls" are not in my pocket. Matt is here of his own accord. And not only that, he is NOT here to only be a part of his son's life, but mine - which would explain, I think, why we're getting married. We love each other. We're a family. I am not denying my son anything, sweets. All I've EVER asked for from Big Matt and Ginny was an opportunity to sit down and work out our differences before they became a part of my son's life, because I feel strongly that NO CHILD should EVER have to be in an unhealthy situation. And there's no denying that the relationship between them and myself is strained and uncomfortable. I'm very sorry, but that has to be resolved before I will allow them to have a relationship with my son, because I won't allow them to be around my son without me. If that seems selfish, well, I suppose I'm being selfish. I prefer to think of it as being a responsible parent; Caden is afraid of strangers, and regardless, they are strangers to him. Matt and Ginny bought me a stroller, not a playpen, and Caden knows who got him the stroller. We do not keep them out of his life completely. We speak to him about them. And yes. You all got him things for his first Christmas; I contacted both Ginny and Betsy to thank them, as they were the only people I knew how to get ahold of. Ironically, you all missed his birthday, and this past Christmas. So, as you see, I feel a bit further justified in my reasoning, seeing as you are punishing my son because you disagree with the choices Matt and I have made for our child.

Your last comment, however, I will remark on. You're absolutely right. Just as Ginny and Big Matt made the choices they felt were right for their children, Matt and I make the choices we feel are right for our son. We both work full time jobs, and Matt has a second, part time job. Our son stays with family, and is well taken care of. I'm a neat freak, so my house is clean. During the first year of his life, my son had many ailments and health issues; we dealt with them, one at a time, and now he's not only healthy but smart, happy, and well-adjusted. He is a loving and loved, beautiful little boy. Now, knowing all that, it was a little bit under the belt when Big Matt threatened us by saying if he didn't see Caden by a certain day, he was going to "do what it takes" to take him away from us. That was when Matt and I decided enough was enough. My son is missing out on NOTHING. He HAS a loving, stable family. He has our friends around him, and their children (and children to be). He has everything he needs, and most things he wants. If things were to work out with your family, then he will only have enriched and enhanced his life, not "filled a void", because there is no void.

As far as Matt is concerned, and in my own humble opinion, it is NOT HIS JOB to make sure that his parents are taken care of, emotionally or physically. If they feel abandoned, then perhaps they should take a long hard look at the choices that they offered him - it was either them, or us. While it's regrettable that he was forced to make that decision, I do wish people would realize that I am not the one who forced him to do so. I am very sorry that they are struggling with the reprecussions of their own actions. Matt and I often worry about them, and hope that all is well. They have made it impossible to handle this situation with any sort of grace or respect. We both have a lot going on right now, between work, life, and a toddler, so we decided that it was time to take a step back from the situation and for us to focus on what matters - Caden.

As I said, there are two sides to every story. I don't expect you to take our side, but at least I gave you a chance to make up your own mind. I understand how everyone feels. I'm very sorry that you feel hurt by any of this. I respect your decisions and choices. We only ask that you do the same for us.